For blacks in Virginia, there is a lot to overcome. The HIV epidemic has taken a toll on many of their family members and friends – almost three-fourths of the disease infects African-American males with the highest proportion coming from my area of Hampton Roads. Teenagers are vulnerable because let’s face it, they’re young, foolish and think they are invincible. Plus, they haven’t lived long enough to fully grasp the realities of unprotected sex with many people over time. A limited list of role models, resources and a positive environment has allowed them to fall by the wayside, as they infect themselves and others. For transgender women (men who want to be women), they face the double whammy of frequent prejudice and a lack of acceptance from society and must succumb to unsafe, commercial sex work to get by. To increase their self-esteem and desirability, they also alter their bodies through illegal silicone injections or hormone therapy, but often at the cost of their own health. 

That is why as the Program Coordinator for one of the area’s comprehensive AIDS Service Organizations, I’m really happy that we got some MAP (Minority AIDS Project) money from the Virginia Department of Funds. My agency is going to be providing HIV/AIDS prevention services for transgender persons and youth in the Hampton Roads area over the next 4 years. To reach our area teens, we have partnered with Teens with a Purpose – the Movement, a youth group who tirelessly educate their peers on healthy life choices that include abstinence and safe sex.  By hosting monthly Open-Mic sessions known as “Second Saturdays”, the teens incorporate HIV/AIDS outreach into poetry, music, dance, rap and other forms of creative self-expression. To help transgenders, we are partnering with Park Place Medical Center to open a Transgender Clinic starting in April 2008.  For a few hours a week, the clinic will offer specialized Trans Care that will include confidential HIV testing and health screenings, with access to hormone therapy as an added incentive.HIV is a disease that no one is immune to, yet continually targets the vulnerable of our society. 

By presenting HIV education and resources in a positive and beneficial way, we hope both populations will not only know the advantages of healthy behavior but realize they have the power to not only change their lives but the lives of generations to come.

One of those thing was to analyze some data from a survey that was conducted with sex workers and MSMs in focus groups. See, one of the things FHI-Aastha did when they started this project back in 2004 was survey the population and conduct a needs assessment about how their life could be better. Of course, there were a lot of things they needed and wanted – these are people living on the social and economical fringes of society. But besides egalitarian things like ration cards for themselves and their families and less harassment from the police, as people who have sex a lot, they wanted a better condom. Traditional condoms in India like Nirod have their flaws – without getting too detailed, they are not durable or smooth enough for the kinds of transactions these women and men were making on a daily or weekly basis. Plus, in Bombay, sex workers just don’t work in brothels or bars or on the street. Many of them work in their own or their associates’ homes and a lot of times, their partners, kids and in-laws have no idea what they are doing to bring in all this extra cash. So besides functionality, they also wanted protection that didn’t look so obvious, but rather like a perfume or lotion packet.

So, FHI contracted with Hindustan Latex and made a condom especially for Aastha clients and members and after dispensing them for 6 months, wanted to see what they liked and didn’t like about it. So that’s where I came in. I can’t believe that one of my classes in my MPA program was the dreaded Statistics requirement and I of course waited til my last semester to complete it but it really came in handy because SPSS was still fresh in my mind as I crosstabbed my way to finding some viable results – which were that they did like the Aastha condom and it suited their needs but they also wanted some improvements. Those suggestions were taken up by our Director and here is a little article on the results – http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/News/News_By_Industry/Made-to-order_condoms_hit__with_sex_workers/articleshow/2212593.cms.

So, like any other big change, there was a transition period when I got back but it was brief and not as painful as I thought. Yes, I had those cravings for street food every now and then (attempts to make it at home were met with disdain…nice try, Mom!), toliet paper seemed not the most cleanly or efficient way to ‘take care’ of myself and I did slip up on miscalling cell phones mobiles, apartments flats, and using other British pronounciations for American words. But for the most part, I think I wound up appreciating both the worlds that I come from. The structure of everything in America is so pleasing when you have lived in a country where rules don’t matter. It was truly nice to walk on well-paved roads, to see trash bins (with people actually using them) and the best thing: understanding everyone. Even though I brushed up on my Hindi a bit and I’m sure my Gujarati improved and to live in Bombay, you just need enough Hindi and Marathi to navigate public and private transportation in order to get by. Some things definetely got lost in translation and I totally understood how my parents must have felt when they came here in the early 80s and how my Ba must feel everyday when she watches General Hospital.

I think that’s why so many foreigners pick to check out Bombay. Most everyone knows English because, well, they kind of have to. It’s a metropolitan city and all different types of people live there because of the burgeoning economy and opportunities. Often what makes Bombay or even India great right now is the industry, financials and mainstreamism but that same stuff is what is making it bad (poverty, disparities between upper and lower classes, pollution) – which is one of the reasons I wanted to go back, to help with one of its development issues. And I really liked my time at FHI and it seems that HIV/AIDS is getting more attention there than what I see here back in Eastern Virginia.

But if I to pick something that I learned, I would undoubtedly say how important language is – especially for a wannabe comedian like me. I love joking around, making fun of people and laughing. And if it wasn’t for the fact that when I try to hard, I’m not really that funny, I would so be on stage at some laugh factory in Chicago. But I coudn’t do that in India. I couldn’t use sarcasm or dry wit the way I could here which meant me being really observant, quiet and laughing a lot at other people’s jokes. Indians are known for their jolliness (even though you can’t tell by the way they dress or frown in pictures) and it really kind of sucked to be around a group of people at the water cooler so to say (in India, the cigarette stanf outside the building), understand an off-color joke, think of something funny to add in my head but then having to translate that funny thing into Gujarti/Hindi. As you can imagine, it doesn’t work and so I rarely tried.

The other thing that was tiring but I tried much harder at was fitting in. I am one of those people that like to blend it. I talked about my adaptation tendencies in a previous post but I think one of the root causes of that is that I really don’t like being different or rather, perceived as different in a negative way from others. Especially if it creates distance and I can’t connect with them. See, in Bombay there are Indians and there are Foreigners but I was a Foreign Indian and it was just hard to box me in a category. I was sort of an uncomfortable novelty and I could tell when I introduced myself and saw a few confused glances and stares and then slowly questions started seeping out that people just really didn’t know what to do with me and so kind of dismissed me – something that I didn’t like at all. And since I couldn’t use humor as my usual weapon of choice to break the ice, I had to do other things like smile more, be more friendly, contribute more, use body language and hand guestures and use my eyes to communicate. I had to justify myself through those and other efforts and worst of all, I just had to wait for people to accept me.

I’m going to be honest and say those first few weeks and months were hard and I wanted to go back to my comfort zone really badly because of this. But I stuck it out, and it really paid off. Now, I have these wonderful memories, great friendships, an abundance of knowledge and contacts in my chosen field and an experience that is really unique to me. I still have dreams and aspirations of going back to India and living there permanently. But for now, I’m happy to be here – able to look, talk and laugh back with ease.

Frommer‘s says that the peak time to come to any part of India is between November and March. Not only is the weather bareable enough to venture outside but at any given time, there are festivals and holidays being observed. To that end, for the last 5 months, Bombay allowed me to be their guest, indulging in their food, watching their entertainment and mingling with the interesting people that come with celebrations here.

First, there are the pilgrimage sites. Most people go to seaside Mount Mary Church so that they can pray to the blessed Mother. The lines at Siddhivinyak are streaming with all types of people waiting to say their wishes to Ganpati Bapa’s mouse. And the floating tomb of Haji Ali is one of the most visited and venerated in Bombay. Even small sects have their sanctuaries like the Buddhist temple in Worli and the synagogue in Bandra. All of these places are great to see how people honor their holy days.

Then there are the art events: Odissi dancers at the Elephanta, renowned authors at the Kitab festival, Shantaram and food stalls at Kala Ghoda, German films at the experimental film festival, fashion weeks (no wardrobe malfunctions this time), budding playwrights at Prithvi theatre, the list really could goes on and one. A lot of these were week, weekend or month long events that just came one after the other – many of them springing up recently. If you ask resident Mumbaites, they’ll say the international arts scene has really exploded here in the last 5 years.

But really the balcony of anyone’s house on D’Monte Street was the best place to see anything live. The crackers in Diwali, the showcased agony of Moharram, the puja and procession for Shivratri, and the colors of Christmas were witnessed from the comforts of our home. Mumbai elections with Shiv Sena making the most flamboyant of rounds, Holi paint and water balloons leaving no man or animal left safe or dry and wedding processions and birthday parties blowing noise pollution to a whole new level.

What was great was that I didn’t have to be of the same Indian religion, caste, creed, family, political party or affiliated in any way to anyone to see how people live it up here. I just had to be in India. 

Leaving makes me think of another kind of warmth. One that has also been given just as freely, easily and openly as the city’s heat. But this one is not by mother nature but by people that I cohabit with in this microscopic city.

It’s my family that I never thought of as my family until I came here and who count me as one of their own, not only guiding me and helping me but smiling at my smile and getting upset when they see me cry.

It’s my co-workers who plan dinners, movies and nights out, always including me and dropping me home. Some because they share their tifins and sweets with me when their husband gets a new job, some because they regret my absence at their upcoming wedding and some because they give me names of suitable boys so that I can be the next ‘wicket down’ in the office (3 engagements since I got here!).

It’s the kids of the sex workers we work with that tell me ‘kaise hai madame?’ and their mothers who shower our team with love in the form of bouquets of flowers and smiles and who get teary eyed when they speak to others about getting a few more opportunities to live a better life.

It’s when my renter Mary Auntie keeps the light on for me when I come home late and sets up bedding and snacks for my 2 friends who expectantly decide to spend the night.

It’s the neighbors who all know each other when they throw colors during Holi, wonder if something happened to cause the bread man to be late, give the dhobi water and a seat to watch “Kaun Banega Crorepati” and offer their not-so spare rooms to the servants whose husbands might be drunk that night.

It’s the new friends I have made here that pay for me when we first meet, knowing that there will of course be many more next times for us to treat each other.

It’s the stranger who helps the blind man cross the traffic-ridden road after they get off the bus. It’s the hawkers that share a smile and laugh when we argue with them and tell them they’re overpricing their goods. It’s the girl who lives with her family on the median who cooks and watches her little brother and still manages to smile at me on my walk home everyday. It’s the train rider who chats with me thinking I am her her friend’s daughter and that still talks to me even after she realizes her mistake (maybe because I don’t act like it is).

It’s even the people who naturally use a pen of mine without asking, grab my shoulder to hold onto as they put their shoes on, and give me advice on how to clear up my face (without prompt).

It’s all this and everything else I forget as I write but will remember as I live another dwindling day here.

In fact, this philosophy has helped me to cross the line from lost tourist to city dweller in the maximum city. I eat pretty much whatever and wherever I want without having to worry about getting food poisoning or water contamination. I’m still alive after bunking on taking my malaria tablets a few weeks here and there (I didn’t have enough to last me the whole time and was too lazy to get more). Even people who come up and ask me for directions when I go out (and they always pick me!) usually get a reasonable response to help them on their way.

Routines have also inevitably set in. On the weekdays, I go to the office and at night chill with the family. On weekends I try my skills at the local beauty shop, threading eyebrows of the brave people who can’t find anyone else to pretty them up, learning acupressure (that I probably could have learned from in a book), reading, writing, going to plays or shows, catching up on sleep, meeting a friend and/or going to Pathshala on Sunday mornings. There are also things that people take for granted here I relish in – eating street food with my hands, hearing people speak a foreign language that I can understand, wearing salwar kameezes and having eggless cake as an option are just some of the things I can do all the time here, not in spurts like back in the States. Put together, these nuances of life make me, strangely enough, feel at home.

Adjusting has it’s downfalls too though. Because along with all those wonderful things I get to do, I can also spit out my gum and throw my crumbled bus tickets on the floor, ignore and step over the most broken of beggar children and shove my way past people when I’m late. I don’t understand – when I hate being like everyone else, why do I choose to not be myself here?

Maybe it’s because I’m surrounded by Indians. These are people that I have always felt comfortable with, people that have made up my friend group for as long as I can remember. Abroad, being around other Indians is supposed help you retain your cultural identity – eating habits, clothing choices, music preferences, language understanding, religious practices and maybe even some history and political knowledge. These were things I had to forgo as first hand experiences when we immigrated over 20 years ago.

But now I am constantly around these carriers of my cultural heritage. And since I have always looked to these people for context, I guess I have done what any newcomer usually does -assimilated. I’m doing, in fact, the dreaded. It’s what parents and pundits told us not to do when we moved - leave what we have known and adopt another just to fit in. But here it’s ironically the reverse, I’ve not forgone my Indian identity but embraced it – maybe a bit too much.

This was never more apparent than last week when a hodgepodge of some famous and ordinary, rich and poor folk shared stage and seating all under the Aastha project banner. Like I’ve said before, our program is doing well and so BMGF and their partner, the celebrity-enthused Indian HEROES project were keen on having a big gathering to celebrate and commemorate our key population of sex workers.

On December 14, it was decided to host an event for over 15,000 sex workers and their families, the likes of Richard Gere, and business titans. These people would hang out and eat together, listen and dance to music, all in the name of promoting safe sex (gulp). Oh yeah, did I mention we had less than a month to prepare with the show being on January 10, that nobody on our 15 member coordinating team had ever seen such a spectacle let alone run one, that Dr. Gaikwad, our Director and Commander-in-Chief was in the hospital for most of the preparation time and that a week before curtain call the event management people threw their hands up in the air because we still had to get 17 permits from the Bombay and Maharashtrian government? (double gulp).

It’s a good thing that the budget was never an issue (although justifying it was) because we had all of the above going against us. In the end it was an amalgamation of long hours, teamwork, dedication from our 15 NGO partners, and shear iron-fisted will that got us through the event. (And it had to be divine intervention that we actually pulled it off without a hitch!)

The purpose of the event was to unite all the sex workers that make up our target population, along with their regular partners and children. We wanted to tell them (in a huge way) that they were people too and important people at that because they are the keys to stopping the spread of HIV. To do that, we had each of the NGOs present a 10 minute item that made up a cultural program. Then we congratulated each of the NGOs, their project coordinator, their outreach and peer education staff as well as those sex workers who are making great strides in safe sex behavior for themselves and their partners (this includes regularly going to our clinics whether they are STI symptomatic or not and consistently using condoms). Intermittent throughout this part of the program were celebrity speeches and dances with Mr. Pretty Women himself as the guest of honor.

Even though it was a huge headache (I have no idea how event managers/pr people do what they do for a living), I couldn’t have asked for a better, luckier experience in my time in India. I know that seeing serial and movie stars comes with the territory when you live in the Beverly Hills of Bombay. But meeting Bipasha Basu, Shaan, Mandira Bedi, and so on for work purposes in a never-before-done event of a 5 year project cycle is just damn good timing if I must say so myself.

Even though the celebrities were just like ordinary people when you saw them, they really made the event worth coming to and for the most part (I’ll leave out the dirt) were very nice and gracious to us as well as our sex workers. I think the best part for me was that Usha Auntie, Jagdish Uncle and Mummiji got to come see the event through my 3 allotted VIP passes. They were treated like hot stuff and got to see a great show (they even got spotted on TV, well the backs of their heads at least). But they deserve it considering they have supported me so much in this past 3 months, opening their home and heart to a practical stranger.

Ok, so this really isn’t development work. Real development work, by its nature, is unrewarding, lacking in crucial resources and completely unglamourous. But every once in a while, magic happens and big money and big names get together for a big cause. Some of that magic rubbed off on me last Wednesday night and even though this will probably never happen again, I hope to carry that with me throughout my time in this work.

Don’t get me wrong – I haven’t been to my ‘hood’ since 1994 so it was nice to catch up and see how the city and people have changed. But Surat is a lot like Norfolk, if you don’t have family/friends to visit there, there’s really no other reason to spend precious vacation time there. But I must admit it was a rare treat to hear stories of life before I was born and when I was too little to remember from my Foi, Fua and cousin as well as seeing the uncanny resemblances that run in the Master-Mody family. They also took me around town which is very clean and modern with women riding two-wheelers and driving cars (a rare sight in Mumbai).

In August of 2006, a huge flood came and 99% of the city’s inhabitants’ homes and businesses were affected (India and especially Surat is all about business, so this was a big deal). Without any prompting, mostly everyone I talked to had a tale about how the water gushed into their homes and how they tried to survive. Like a true Guju capitalist, someone even made a video of the floods, documentary style, and has been selling it in the stores. The film is actually surprisingly boring but I could see that people weren’t lying about swimming in 8 feet of water and not having food for days.

Surat is also known for pav-malay, pok, dhokla and sweets galore and my family made sure I got the grand food tour. I think I gained 5 pounds in that one week alone but I tell myself that I lost it through all the shopping I did. I know it’s not my strongest suit but by bringing along the likes of Rupal’s Mami and my cousin Pappali, I think I got a good selection. It’s funny in that what Indians abroad (like me) like is usually traditional and way too old school for the Indians in India. They even have stores especially for us. “Oh, she’s from the States, take her to G3″, was what I heard throughout the week. This also meant that every time I liked something, I was bombarded by faces of conservatism and plain dislike. But in the end, I left my comfort zone of tapestry prints and blues and went (just a little) far out with some printed pants and contrasting colors. (Now the fact that these outfits will probably be out of style when I actually wear them is a different story.)

Pappali and Jijaji have a good friend circle of Catholic Suratis (who knew there were so many of them) and I had a good time spending Christmas and my nights with them. One of the families has a strong US-based contingency and I often got looks of shock when they see that I actually liked India enough to stay for half a year. All I can say is that thanks to the people I am surrounded with, it’s really not been as ‘sacrificial’ of a task to live here as people might think.

Which is why I came back in time for New Year’s because I wanted to spend it in Bombay and Tejal and Shrenik had already planned our night out. Not being big drinkers, we had to find a better alternative to a crowded and expensive party/lounge/bar. When you’re not wasted, parties are only fun when you can hang loose with the people you are with and that’s what I did with them at Essel World. (Yes, the amusement park!)

Wearing clubby clothes and make up, I rode on all the attractions and listened/danced to music in their 3 discos. That place has definitely changed since I last went over 10 years ago and has even added a water park, more food venues and an activity center that has bowling and pool tables. We got back at 4 am and as cheesy as it was, I had a lot of fun being a kid. Which brings me to my New Year’s resolution – less planning and practicality and more spontaneity.

In and outside of the Aastha project, CDI uses a lot of creative prevention techniques to get their message out. On that day, they recruited youth from a local college and had them conduct street plays thoughout the day outside the station. Because we came too late, we only caught the last few minutes of the last play where they were ending with a demonstrative song and dance. Inside, on empty parts of the platform, they had an interactive poster exhibition and a stall with information. 

Even though they had crowds most of the day, your typical Mumbaite commuter isn’t going to ask questions about condom use in front of other people. So CDI has this kind of routine where one of their volunteers would pretend to be part of the crowd and ask about common misconceptions about the spread of HIV (Can you get it from kissing?) and condom use (What if I use the same condom twice, does it still work?). The rest of the crowd couldn’t really tell there was an act going on and seeing one of ‘them’ be vocal, got them shouting out questions and answers too. The show was pretty humourous but the only drawback was that most of the audience dissipated as soon as their respective trains came. Expectantly, women also shied away from all 3 of these showings. One woman did come by when she saw that Vidyun and I were listening, but then curiously turned away after a few minutes, sighing to her friend, ‘Yeh to science hai!’. CDI also gave out free condoms distributed by the Indian government along with pamphlets and brochures.

These kinds of shows are common techniques when it comes to public awareness and behavior change. Along with film shows and group discussions, this seems to be the way the development world tries to get people’s attention on a public matter. 

Since CDI’s office is nearby, we decided to stop by and chat with their staff for a bit. With everything they do, I wanted to know whether any of it really worked. While I couldn’t ask that question, their Director did say that people don’t immediately return to their offices for information or help. But after a few weeks, months or maybe even years, HIV/AIDS will touch them in some way, they’ll see the pamphlet on their bureau and they’ll call back hungry for advice. He also praised their outreach workers a lot. Day in and day out, these people go and try to talk to people about HIV who don’t necessarily want to talk about their sex lives. People shut doors in their face, throw things at them and can be generally rude…but yet they still truck on.

The problem with HIV is that people think they are invincible to it until it directly affects them. Vidyun herself is a doctor from a well-off family and she was saying that she doesn’t tell most of them about the places she goes everyday and who she interacts with because even they would be unnecessarily frightened. 

I mentally decided on the car ride back that the LEAST I can do is educate my family when I got home and correct some misconceptions. To my enjoyable surprise, they themselves realized what day it was and were asking questions from the moment I walked up the stairs. I gave them the few booklets I collected and they actually knew a lot more than my so-called ‘educated’ family back in the States. In that way, ignorance is a lot like HIV – no matter the educational status, no one is immune to it. 

By the way, if you’re wondering, the answers to the kissing and condom questions are both No. HIV/AIDS is only contracted through blood and bodily fluids through unprotected sex, unsterilized syringes, and mother to child tranmission (while pregnant and breasfeeding). It is not transmitted through kissing, sharing the same utensils or toilets and is not hereditary.

Then, through some kind of 7 degrees of separation game (and a lot of luck), I came in contact with Dr. Gaikwad – Family Health International’s Aastha HIV Prevention Project Director. We spoke on the phone before I left for India and then I had an informal interview here at the office after I arrived. Now, here I am actually working in their office and getting paid, having fooled them into thinking I can actually contribute to their work.

In case you didn’t know, India is on the verge of an HIV/AIDS epidemic. Here, there are 5.7 million people living with AIDS, 3.9 million infected and after just passing South Africa, our prevalence rate is now the highest in the world. On top of that, Maharashtra (with emphasis on Mumbai city) accounts for over half of all reported HIV/AIDS cases in the nation. Though grim, these statistics were actually the reason I wanted to come to India in the first place. I came to learn more about such a monumental health issue and also because along with the disparaging news, there is a lot of hope.

The epidemic is still concentrated to the usual high risk groups of truck drivers, slum youth, sex workers and drug users but is slowly spreading to the low risk groups of regular folk who don’t necessarily make money for sex or injection drug using part of their daily routine. However, the good news is that an aggressive prevention effort can really slow down the spread of HIV and stop a true epidemic from occurring.

Thankfully, Bill and Melinda Gates have realized this and have given India over 250 billion dollars to increase their prevention programs in high risk states like Maharashtra. So what programs like Aastha (Sanskrit for ‘take care’) do is scale up prevention among the high risk groups (we work with high frequency commercial sex workers) big time. Privately funded programs also tend to fill in the gaps that the government often leaves because of a lack of resources (not enough money) or political restraints (US funded money that doesn’t allow for condoms). Aastha has been cited as a model in India’s prevention efforts, so hopefully I’ll learn a lot in the coming months.

I know when most of you heard that I was working on an AIDS prevention project, working with kids and patients in a hospital or with other ‘normal’ people crossed your mind (rather than prostitutes and pimps). But the truth is that while there are many faces to the epidemic, here HIV/AIDS is mostly contracted through sex that is often consensual as it is unprotected. The fact that these men and women do what they do to earn money (or that people are paying them to do it) is unfortunate, no doubt about it. But there’s also no doubt that anyone can really stop them from doing it either. Because of whatever circumstance, this is their chosen livelihood and in order to keep the spread of infection under check and lives safe, this has to be respected. This means treating them like ‘normal’ working people, which they are.

In the first two weeks I was here, I got to go on a lot of site visits to different parts of Mumbai and Thane sitting in on meetings, workshops and events. After hearing and speaking (in broken Hindi) to many of the girls caught in this world, I almost couldn’t believe what profession they were in. So many of the younger ones reminded me of my girls from Youth Camp – giggly, talkative and cute. While so many of the older ones reminded me of Aunties back home- smart, loving and caring. While I do feel sad for them, at the same time I’m glad and proud to be a part of something that gives them a little hope…for them and for all of us.